Why do we fall in love?

Many things have been said about falling in love, in particular when separating from love. On this topic virtually all experts have agreed: Being in love is not the same thing as feeling love.

To avoid confusion from the beginning, let’s clarify that falling in love has no real basis because it’s an unpredictable and random phenomenon that happens to us all because we all create preferences based on an ideal person in an unconscious way throughout our lives and over time it becomes more solid.

When the accumulation of preferences is perceived in a particular enamored person, an emotional impact occurs, an indescribable feeling of happiness, to the point of causing physiological changes in the physical body.

Then, an intense desire for intimacy with that person appears, willingness to have that person closer, to touch her, to hug her or to have sex with her, there is an intense desire for reciprocity so that the beloved person feels the same thing as we do, which also creates at the same time an intense fear of rejection.


The enamored person loses his/her concentration in his/her everyday tasks because of the frequent and uncontrollable thoughts about the loved one, this also happens during the presence, real or imaginary of the beloved person, a strong physiological arousal that involves nervousness, rapid heartbeat, a hypersensitivity to the wishes and needs the beloved person might have and we want to satisfy.

Perhaps the most striking feeling would be a hyper idealization that makes us perceive only the positive features of the person we have a crush on.

Does being in love have no value? The obvious answer is: it would have value if it lasted, which in the vast majority of the cases doesn’t happen because several characteristics about the person we fell in love with changed over time, following a painful feeling of frustration.

There are endless reasons of why we fall in love and the fact is that when these causes change, the infatuation ends.

This does not necessarily mean that after we fall out of love we can’t love that person we fell in love with again.

Similarly, In this sense it has been said, not unreasonably, that when love begins, infatuation ends (Erich Fromm).

Perhaps we might say, more accurately- that in order to know whether we love for sure the person we fell in love with, we must first stop being in love with that person.

One of the biggest problems about infatuation is that only in very few cases is reciprocal. We usually fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to know about us.

Probably one of the biggest frustrations one could have, as a human being, is the unrequited love.

When one doesn’t know the truth about falling in love, It’s difficult to understand why the beloved person does not feel the same feeling we do.

How do we know the difference between love and infatuation? The only way is by realizing that if we are dazzled by somebody we don’t know, there can be a trap in our senses, and this has nothing to do with love because love involves knowledge of the loved one and nobody loves somebody who doesn’t know.

In addition, infatuation disappears with the same speed with which it arrived, leaving serious consequences of pain and frustration which are very difficult to overcome.

In short, since infatuation clouds our reason, if we know the real causes of falling in love, we will have the best tool to deal with it.

http://unveiledsecretsandmessagesoflight.blogspot.com/2010/08/grupo-elron.html